tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19083294254960506772024-03-05T06:09:09.651-05:00Mostly Mediocrity Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.comBlogger145125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-24848014257401194602021-07-22T12:51:00.003-04:002021-07-22T12:51:50.656-04:002021 Life & Plans<p><b>❤We moved this spring</b> back to our old house and sold the little house we homesteaded at. </p><p>The amount of projects we completed has been intense to say the least. </p><p>Painted the entire house minus the bathroom. The bathroom will be gutted next year and completely redesigned & renovated. We refinished the original hardwood floors in two rooms. We still need to get carpet for the living room.</p><p>The screen porch had to be completely repaired. New screens, flooring, paint, screen door, and blinds. The deck needed repainted too. The front porch still needs finished: paint and railings and we are adding a second set of steps next to the driveway. </p><p>We put up 320 ft of 6 ft privacy fence. Bought a large shed for a home gym & workshop space. The shed needs some finishing done and we need electric ran to it. </p><p>I'm planning to set up one room as a home library/ hobby space for myself. I'm planning cabinets below and bookshelves to the ceiling on one wall. This is one of the rooms that has refinished hardwood floors and it should be absolutely gorgeous when it is finished. For now, I'm chilling in here typing this up surrounded by boxes of books, home decor we haven't hung, and crafty things that don't quite have homes yet.</p><p style="text-align: left;">We are buying a hot tub from my in laws so that's a whole project getting it set up and electric which will be done at the same time as the shed. </p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p style="text-align: left;"><b>❤After a year of pandemic homeschooling</b> my kids are returning to public school this year and we are really looking forward to that. Excited but nervous best describes how everyone is feeling. While we are returning to a house we lived in before, it has been 5 years and my youngest never went to this school. So it is very much like a brand new school for all of them. </p><p style="text-align: left;">My oldest is working and learning to drive now and that's a whole new world that makes me feel like time is slipping by just a little bit too fast. But he still gets icing all over his face when he eats cake and we had a good laugh about that at a birthday party a couple weeks ago. He will be 17 next month. He has been thinking about his future but is still unsure of what he wants to do.</p><p style="text-align: left;">My oldest daughter is now taller than me & surprisingly likes hanging out with her parents. We need to start figuring out how we want to set up her attic-bedroom which is massive but pretty bland. She adores animals and wants literally all the pets, haha! She will be 15 this fall. </p><p style="text-align: left;">My youngest just turned 12 and she's full of attitude now. Still absolutely loves art and got some fancy markers for her birthday. She can't wait to start school and is hoping to make some new friends, she really struggled at our last school with peers. She is on the autism spectrum and as she is getting older it is harder socially. </p><span><!--more--></span><p style="text-align: left;"><b>❤As for me</b>, I'm trying to find joy despite being chronically ill. Managing my health is a full time job these days it seems and I often have to slow down more than I want to. But I am learning that it is necessary and it is ok. Rest doesn't have to be earned, sometimes you just need it and that's that. I'm trying to keep my jealousy in check, not let myself get bitter, not descend into depression. This is just life and I'm learning to take it all in stride. Though, I wish I knew of some better ways to distract myself from pain. My doctors are on the right track now with helping me. Though the appointments are exhausting and anxiety inducing... and I definitely need to call and make some more appointments unfortunately. </p><span><!--more--></span><p style="text-align: left;"><b>❤We want to plan some fun activities for the remainder of the summer.</b> I need to look at my "Summer Fun" list again in my phone and see what we can do in these coming weeks before summer ends and school begins and we're all on another schedule entirely. </p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p></blockquote><p><br /></p>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-90570839581272551712020-12-19T16:32:00.003-05:002021-07-20T16:34:43.668-04:00It’s been a 2020 of a year.<h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2020/12/19/its-been-a-2020-of-a-year/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-12-19T12:55:18-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">DECEMBER 19, 2020</time><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span></a><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/712" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2020 has been… hard. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Health Stuff: </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I started the year feeling miserable. I requested fewer days at my job because my days off were spent recuperating or falling apart from the level of physical activity from the days before. Fast forward to the pandemic and the store I was working at closed permanently. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">almost</span> got a diagnosis of Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease, my symptoms align with UCTD but my lab work was negative for the markers. I ended up with a stomach ulcer in the spring followed by severe digestive issues that lasted from June-December. I lost nearly 20 pounds in two and a half months and I swear about half of my hair. So I asked the rheumatologist if this could be IBS related to something else I have going on. He said it might be IBD/Chron’s/Celiac disease, and sent me to a gastroenterologist and said I don’t need to return to their office unless my pain increases… To which I’m thinking, increases to what!? But basically they can’t do anything else and they’ve ruled out all the things they know to test for within their specialty. Other doctors tell me my pain is rheumatological in nature…. but apparently it isn’t because they’ve ruled out everything. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The gastroenterologist didn’t listen to everything I was saying and made his own assumptions so I went for a stomach scope, which showed retained food after more than 10 hours. Followed by a gastric emptying study which was normal. I follow up next month, it should be pretty straight forward at this point as to what is going on. But knowing my luck they’ll send me to another specialist or send me away without a diagnosis at all. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">On the upside… All of the sudden things seem to be easing up but I’m cautiously optimistic. I’m hopeful that maybe I can slowly start adding foods back into my diet that I had to cut out entirely. This is not a new ailment at all, over the years I have had flares of digestive issues, usually not lasting long enough to necessitate seeing a doctor for… or so I tell myself because it’s not a primary concern, unless it lasts for months on end. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My experience so far has always been, “well everything looks normal”. Ok, but why is this happening and still considered normal? </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Homestead Stuff: </span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />With all our time at home, we were feeling super inspired to revamp our little homestead and we had big plans. So we bought 25 Cornish cross chickens to raise and butcher. And the following week a dozen new layer hens because raccoons kept picking off our older hens all summer. The meat bird raising and butchering went really well and the meat is fantastic. I’d recommend it to anyone who has the space and the stomach for butchering an animal. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But my body can’t do this anymore, not even chickens. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Coupled with the fact that we’re always struggling financially to just exist and what that will mean for my husband’s retirement, or lack of. Leads me to my next point: we’ve decided to sell our house. No more chickens, goats, pigs, rabbits, turkeys, ducks, any of it. No more big garden plans, no more greenhouse dreaming, no more talk of building a barn. We loaded up the new egg layers and took them to my dad. Raccoons got to his flock as well this spring so he was glad for the new chickens. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This chapter is ending. We’ve made peace with it. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Really that’s all that you can do. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Do your best and make peace with your decisions. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I am definitely planning on putting together some videos for our inactive YouTube channel once we actually have internet service again. That stuff is just too hard when you’re trying to keep your cell phone’s hotspot from disconnecting every 20 minutes and trying not to use up all your data.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-67939992749954918092020-05-03T16:30:00.001-04:002021-07-20T16:32:21.726-04:00A Letter To Myself<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2020/05/03/a-letter-to-myself/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-05-03T20:09:03-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">MAY 3, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/703" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I miss my goats. I miss the rabbits.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I miss the notion of the life I was trying to build up around myself.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I miss life before things got so hard. I miss having that energy I used to have. I miss feeling alive because what I’ve been feeling is much like surviving or enduring.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I took everything for granted. I wish that I had known then what I know now, what I would feel now. How my life would change. There are so many things that I would have told my younger self, but I don’t know if she would have listened.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’d have told her to make time to do yoga, don’t fall off that wagon, don’t stop and don’t get distracted by a sweet puppy who wants to make things hard.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Keep eating the healthy foods! For the love of God, don’t treat yourself like a trash compactor. ( I type this as I literally have pretzels and a chocolate chip cookie next to me but hey I’m drinking water at least so there is that.) Drink more water than you think you need and eat your vegetables.. start there and increase it because you asshat, vegetables are good for you and you like them!</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">If something hurts, stop! You’re not feeling normal pain and fatigue. Something is wrong and you need to slow the hell down. But you won’t know this for a couple more years. Instead you’ll just think you must be really out of shape, weak, and pathetic.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh my darling, your body is setting you up for failure.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It might feel like you’re dying at times but you’ll eventually wake up feeling great. You’ll be having a good day and you’re going to overdo it all over again. You’ll be back in bed lying there wishing you could be doing anything else. This cycle will repeat indefinitely. You’re going to feel guilt and shame because you just don’t know yet what is going on. It will be frustrating.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">You will feel more depressed than makes sense when your pain levels peak. It is hard to keep a smile on your face when there is so much pain to endure and every doctor tells you that you’re fine.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And all the tests are perfect.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And you’re going to wonder if it is in fact…. all in your head.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It is not in your head.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Then one day… the doctor will say that if he had to put a label on it… he would say you have Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease and maybe POTS. Which makes sense for some of it and now you’re going to have to figure out how to navigate that information. However, with negative blood work...this is not a diagnosis. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Come to terms with the fact that finding a job outside of the home that fits all of your physical needs is probably not an option. But thankfully you’ve got a husband who can support the whole family on his income. Figure out what you CAN do and do that.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">You’re going to feel jealous at times of others. But remember we all have our own struggles in life. Just like others have no idea that you’re in pain, you have no idea what they are going through either.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Some things in life just are and this is one of those things. But don’t give up on yourself, your dreams, or your body; do your best with what life has given you.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />After all it really is a pretty good life.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-75128717769521341102020-01-22T16:25:00.005-05:002021-07-20T23:27:55.436-04:00Everything Hurts: Medical Mysteries-Histories <header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2020/01/22/everything-hurts-medical-mysteries/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-01-22T10:46:14-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">JANUARY 22, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/683" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve been hesitant to share specifics because I don’t want pity and it feels like I’m very exposed when I think about it but the fact is… I really value transparency.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I have a lot of different medical things going on that I believe are all connected. I’ll first start by saying I am 33 now so that if you’re reading this you’ve got a pretty good idea how long I’ve been dealing with these issues.</p><hr style="background-color: #cccccc; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; height: 1px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;" /><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">When I was around 13 I noticed that I could pop my right hip in and out painlessly and thought that was pretty strange and a bit cool, because lets face it I was a kid. When I was 14-15 I had some issues with my knees being “weak”. I had tried to join cross country but ended up with horrible pain in my knees and my primary dr said it was muscle weakness around the knee, I went to physical therapy a couple of times. After that I started exercising and dancing more at home on my own but my knees were never running material.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My stepdad got a motorcycle when I was about 15/16, he took me for a ride on it after which, my skin was hurting but also kind of numb feeling and I broke out in painful hives. Sun? Wind? Something environmental? I have no idea what happened and that was my first ever experience with hives. I did not get back on the motorcycle unless my skin was completely covered.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2004 – I was 17 and had my first baby at 38 weeks</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2005 – 18 years old: I was having trouble keeping weight on no matter how much I ate. My clothes were basically falling off of me and people thought that I was doing drugs.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2006 – I kept getting sick with strep throat so I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. Pregnancy with second child; I was put on bed rest right around 20 weeks as my body was trying to go into labor early. My uterus was “ballooning” near the cervix and I was starting to dilate. Meds and bed rest worked. My water broke at 37 weeks, no contractions though and I had to be induced, it was a stressful delivery but with a good outcome.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2006-winter- 2007 is when I started getting strange rashes, many ulcers in my mouth that made it difficult if not impossible to eat and I was literally starving. I had to wean my baby abruptly to a bottle because I couldn’t make enough breast milk to keep her satisfied because I couldn’t take in enough calories because the pain was unbearable. I did eventually get a prescription ointment that would cover the ulcers enough that I could eat soft foods quickly but that wasn’t an easy task. I had to tell my primary doctor to consult with another doctor and figure out what I needed after she incorrectly called in a lidocane mouth rinse that specifically said (DO NOT EAT WHILE USING THIS MEDICATION). I was livid. I called the doctors office, I got snippy I told them I was starving and not producing enough breast milk for my infant and try again after consulting with someone or doing research. I also put my back out of place so badly I was pretty much confined to a laying down position for a week. It hurt to breath. I couldn’t make it to the doctor to get my back adjusted and I didn’t have a support system in place to assist me through that time. It was fucking horrid. I almost pissed myself a few times trying to climb the stairs to the bathroom. I’m sure there was more going on but that was a long time ago. 2007-2008 I had a lot of random chest pain but I don’t think I mentioned this to a doctor, I blew it off as being too young for heart issues so it must just be anxiety.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But I got through all of that and didn’t have many other issues until after my youngest child was born(2009) she was born at 36 weeks. In 2010(23 years old) I started having a lot of issues with food sensitivities, fatigue, depression/anxiety, and unexplained pain in my hands. I had a new doctor at this point. All of the sudden I also had seasonal allergies. My doctor prescribed a steroidal nasal spray and prescription allergy medication but said I could use over the counter allergy medication if I chose to. The prescription saved me some money, but hurt my stomach so I switched to OTC allergy medications. I started getting ulcers in my mouth again(I would later discover the nasal spray caused ulcers). I relied heavily on those allergy meds because if my sinuses got too snotty, I’d end up with an infection. At one point I had no symptoms of a sinus infection but I had symptoms of a brain tumor. My doctor ordered a CT and discovered my tumor symptoms were actually from a bad sinus infection.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />At one point prior to this I had another sinus infection and was continuously passing the germs to my kids. Their pediatrician was the one who discovered this and called in a prescription for me as well. I feel like he took one look at me and knew where the infections my kids kept getting were coming from. So I kept with the allergy meds and went to the doctor any time headaches started coming back as that usually meant another infection in my sinuses.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />2010 – I had to have my IUD mirena removed because it caused horrible cramps.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I also had some nerve testing done on my arms to see if we could pin point a cause for my pain and stiffness in my hands along with the numbness in the ring and pinky fingers. This all came back normal and I didn’t get any explanation. My blood work was normal too. Doctor didn’t suspect carpal tunnel syndrome and that was the end of trying to find answers. I learned to live with the pain.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2011 I decided to try a gluten free diet after my food issues were getting worse and reading that it can help with pain. Turns out it helped a ton! My hands felt much better. But it isn’t easy to stick to and eventually I started eating gluten again.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In 2012 I started having some pretty shit days again, migraines and deep deep feelings of guilt that I couldn’t keep up with life anymore, I was a control freak and I hadn’t learned to delegate or depend on others. I decided to try a vegan gluten free diet but I cannot remember what year that was… 2014? I felt amazing but restrictive diets are hard to stick to.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Sometime in 2013 I started having low grade fevers. The only other thing that accompanied the fever was headaches or migraines. I also had some random stabbing chest pain near my heart, the doctor said it was anxiety. My allergies also got worse at this time. I had allergy testing done after 2 weeks off of my OTC allergy medication. My results were negative except for being allergic to cockroaches. But I discovered that I had fewer allergy symptoms off the OTC meds! So I stopped taking them. In 2014 we went on a camping trip with friends and I decided it would be best to take some seasonal allergy pills along with. My seasonal allergies were fine with the OTC medication but suddenly I was having contact dermatitis on my lips and mouth from strawberries(which I have always eaten with no issue). For the following week I had issues with all the high histamine foods I ate. Fruits, nuts, etc. At the time I was eating super healthy…salads, smoothies, so this was very disappointing not to mention uncomfortable.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I also suddenly became very allergic to latex, which I figured out after a painful dental appointment one week, and then a gynecologist appointment the next… exposing your genitals to an allergen is horrific in case you didn’t know.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2013 – The mysterious vibrating left leg. You couldn’t see it, or feel it to touch, but my left leg would feel like it was buzzing. It would last hours at a time.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2016 I was in a car accident which led to a flare of all my symptoms thus far. I think it was the stress on my body, the stress on my mind. Moving TWICE in 6 months. My hips started hurting so bad that I would lay in bed and cry. I cried for the life I wanted but couldn’t have. I cried for my children and husband having to deal with me being so damn broken. I became so depressed over those last months of 2016. I was definitely a danger to myself. I believed my family would be better off without me. I felt like a nuisance. After the accident I was seen by a chiropractor for several weeks and lots of adjustments. Sometimes the adjustments caused migraines. My hip and low back pain just kept getting worse and nothing helped. I stopped going to the chiropractor except when it was absolutely necessary.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">At this point I was guessing that my pain was caused from fibromyalgia.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">January 2017 I went to a new doctor after years of not having a primary doctor. I talked about my depression and anxiety, I talked about my pain. I was prescribed Cymbalta and I noticed an improvement within a couple of weeks(I also had blood work done to rule out lyme, inflammation, arthritis, and any deficiencies: all my tests were normal). My depression and anxiety decreased and my pain was almost gone except for days when I was very active. I started working in the spring although it was short lived because the work was very stressful and anxiety inducing which caused me to have more “bad days” than good along with skin rashes that were so irritating that I was scratching myself raw and causing bruises.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I decided to quit and spend more time focusing on my health and home and our little farm. I had fewer bad days and didn’t need to modify my diet (I gained 20 pounds between 2018 and now I’m sure as a result of this new food freedom!) And our farm grew so much… we added more chickens, ducks, goats, rabbits, pigs… I was feeling good, cymbalta changed my life.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2018 I was having a lot of chest pains for a few weeks so I decided to go to the dr for that before it stopped again as fast as it started. But the heart monitor didn’t find anything abnormal.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In spring 2019 I started working again outside the home. And this is when my symptoms started getting worse again. More bad days, especially after physically strenuous days. We also did some renovations in our house that really wiped me out physically. It started taking more time to “bounce back” again to having good days.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Over the summer I started getting rashes from being in the sun. I was working a lot of hours and just completely wiped out by evening so the garden I lovingly planted in the spring became overgrown and disappointing. I felt yet again, like a total failure.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I mostly just dealt with everything until the fall when I decided to start searching for a diagnosis and help feeling better. The pain was impacting my mental health.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The end of October 2019 my doctor ordered blood work again, referred me to a rheumatologist, and increased my Cymbalta by 30mg. The side effects from the Cymbalta increase were terrible and I basically slept through November with no improvement in my pain symptoms so I took myself back down to 60mg.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />In November the rheumatologist ordered some more blood work, it once again ruled out inflammation, arthritis, lyme, lupus, and autoimmune connective tissue diseases.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I was however diagnosed with Raynaud’s phenomenon, which is fairly common but at least I had one answer for some weird symptoms.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />This year we got rid of some of our farm animals, a lot of them actually, I couldn’t keep up with it.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2020- Early this month I went back to my primary doctor for the hand pain that had been bothering me for most of December. He thought that it was tendonitis in my thumbs and referred me to a hand specialist who was able to get me in just a few days later. They took xrays and concluded that it seems to be rheumatological in nature. Prescribed 2 aleve 2x a day and said to follow up with the rheumatologist. NSAIDS had started hurting my stomach at this point so I only took them as needed. I started needing them more and more which led to a stomach ulcer. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So now I wait until March(written 1/22/20)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I’m working on cleaning up my diet and forming good healthy habits again. Regular exercise is the hardest because I have a lot of days when I feel like exercise is just going to max out my abilities for the day.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A couple weeks ago I danced to a song with my 10 year old…. 5 minutes of dancing caused me to feel dizzy, nauseous and weak. I had to lay down for 30 minutes to feel better. I’m not that out of shape(I’m 5’3 & 140lbs) and on days I work I’m on my feet doing things for 5-7 hours. However, after this month I’ll be super part time working only a couple of days a month because I just cannot work and keep up with my family/house or my health. I took my time coming to this decision as I really like my job, but I need to be home more. I need more time… I need to start going to counseling again because carrying all of this shit around is heavy and I know that talking helps.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Current Symptom Recap:</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Tendon, Muscle, & Joint Pain<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Low Grade Fever/Temperature Disregulation<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Migraines<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Rashes/Skin Sensitivity<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Raynaud’s Phenomenon<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Back Spasms<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Bursitis<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Subluxations – Joints That Are Loose/Weak<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Tendonitis<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Fatigue<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Buzzing Leg<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Hand Pain & Numbness<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Chest Pain<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Muscle Weakness<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Exercise Fatigue<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Depression & Anxiety<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Sensory Issues</p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><b>Jumping Back With Updates Since This One Is So Thorough - July 20, 2021</b></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2020 Spring </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The March appointment with rheumatology - I got a referral for ophthalmology to have my eyes checked prior to starting a medication for a condition that I couldn't be positively diagnosed with. During a pandemic... and everything closed. I never went to ophthalmology. Concerns were not addressed about Ehlers Danlos Syndrome when I asked if it was a possibility. <span style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit;"> </span></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit;">April</span></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit;">I started having stomach pain more often after taking nsaids & aspirin. </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-style: inherit;">I vomited blood twice (looked like coffee grounds) but it was the middle of the night, during a pandemic, and I didn't think it was emergent so I didn't go to the hospital. I will not make that mistake again. After the bleeding stomach ulcer I started having more gastrointestinal symptoms. Poor appetite, intense pain, chronic diarrhea. When I went back to the rheumatologist in </span></span><b style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit;">September</b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-style: inherit;"> I described my symptoms and asked if it was related. He referred me to a gastroenterologist for suspected inflammatory bowel disease and said that might explain all of my symptoms. I was also having mild fevers, migraines, facial flushing during the GI flares. He ordered some more blood work which found HLA B27 is positive, ferritin(iron) is low. Started supplements. </span></span></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I would get full so fast and remain full for hours. I vomited several hours after eating a few times and there was definitely undigested food in my stomach longer than it should have been. But I was also finding foods that I had always eaten were suddenly causing diarrhea to the extreme that I couldn't leave the house sometimes for several days. I had to limit my diet a lot. I lost 20 lbs by the time I got to the gastroenterologist in October and another 10 pounds by the following January. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">He ran a bunch of tests. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Upper endoscopy showed retained food after 10+ hours. Then I had an emptying study in December 2020 which was normal. By then I was able to fine tune my diet enough to maintain some normalcy with shorter flares of symptoms. Gallbladder test was normal. Ultrasound of pancreas, gallbladder, and liver was normal. Colonoscopy was normal aside from some mild diverticulosis. Recovery from the colonoscopy was absolutely awful. It aggravated my gi tract and all my issues were worse for a while, I could hardly eat. I was extremely weak and dizzy and my bp kept dropping pretty low 90/45. By the 3rd day after I was starting to feel better. I don't know why I had such a hard time with it. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I am now taking iron for the deficiency, the gastroenterologist prescribed something easier on my stomach. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Spring 2021</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I went to the gynecologist for pelvic pain and abnormal bleeding. A cyst was found on one ultrasound but the second was normal. No treatment options were made available to me, I stressed my concern and asked if I needed to follow up and was told "well everything is normal". </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">They ran blood work that showed some things were off(WBC low MPV high) but I was told it was normal and I was not anemic. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">June 2021</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I returned to my primary doctor for a physical. We reviewed everything that the rheumatologist, gastroenterologist, gynecologist did & found. Including blood work that I am iron deficient despite taking supplements. Current list of everything that was diagnosed, symptoms, and I focused on my joint instability which has been getting much worse and causing more pain. My symptoms align with a connective tissue disease. I showed him how my hips pop/slip and he said it was a subluxation and said he believes I may have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. (Note: I asked the rheumatologist about this in Sept 2020 and was dismissed.) He prescribed a higher dose of Vitamin D & we will recheck that and the iron in August. I was also referred to see a geneticist for assessment/diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and will be seen sometime in 2022. I had hip X-rays and they were normal. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-32565988671122512902020-01-10T16:22:00.001-05:002021-07-20T16:24:09.652-04:00Health Update<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2020/01/10/health-update/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2020-01-10T19:53:39-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">JANUARY 10, 2020</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/676" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My primary doctor thinks my hand pain is from the tendon that runs from the wrist up the thumb and diagnosed it as De Quervain’s Disease tenosynovitis. I see a specialist next week. An injection may be an effective treatment option.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />When it gets bad I can’t open the simplest things, it hurts to wash my hair and brush my teeth. I get clumsy and drop things. My wrists will feel weaker and less able to grasp. This has been a problem for me off and on since 2010.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m not sure if I mentioned my Raynaud’s Phenomenon diagnosis from the nurse practitioner at my rheumatologist’s office. <br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Basically the blood vessels constrict blood flow to my hands and feet for absolutely no good reason, (because that’s how something with the word “phenomenon” in the name works). It hurts really bad when the blood flow returns to the area. I’m sure most people who live in colder climates know that feeling well.. you’ve just spent some time outside building a snowman or some other such thing, you come into the warm house and take off your cold wet gloves, as your fingers start to warm up again, you feel that stinging burning sensation. It’s like that except it doesn’t take much to trigger it.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve been thinking about getting a gym membership and trying out swimming for some low impact exercise. I can’t even do the littlest amount of exercise or the bursitis in my right hip starts coming back. Maybe I should try the injection for that too… I need to read up on it some more.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I had a bunch of blood work done and I’m not sure what all was ruled out specifically(it was a lot) but it is not autoimmune connective tissue disease like lupus, rheumatiod arthritis, or sjorgrens. My vitamin D was very low so I’m taking a once a week supplement for a few months then switching to a daily.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I also keep getting tendonitis pain in my feet, like the tops of my feet so I’m going to try to pay more attention to my shoes as it can be caused from pressure on the top of the foot from shoes. Fun stuff right?</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I would love to know if there is something big picture that’s causing or connected to all these little things.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-35410177796793670012019-10-30T16:13:00.001-04:002021-07-20T16:18:38.130-04:00Seeking Answers<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/10/30/seeking-answers/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-10-30T13:33:54-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">OCTOBER 30, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/650" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The only thing harder than living with chronic pain is knowing that people don’t understand and doctors don’t believe you because they can’t diagnose what is wrong.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Honestly, I don’t even understand what is wrong with me and I feel a ton of guilt over it. Like how can I possibly do so well for so long and then have days and weeks where I just hurt so much that I can’t function? How can I spend the first part of summer doing so well, being so active, working on projects, carrying heavy things, then not be able to gather the strength to stand to cook dinner after a simple day at home doing a little cleaning?</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It is pretty difficult never really knowing what kind of day I’m about to have. I do know if I have a low fever that a bad day is coming. I try to get ahead of it, taking excedrine in cause a migraine is trying to take over, resting, drinking more water, taking naps instead of pushing through. When I know we have something planned for the upcoming weekend I worry because I just don’t know what I’m going to feel like by the time those plans come up.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The other day I was feeling pretty great, having a low key day at home, and then I was taken over by full body pain that felt like all of my muscles were contracting even though they were relaxed. I was fatigued like my body had just run a marathon(not that I’d know what that is like) or as I described to a friend “Fatigue like when you have a stomach virus and spend the entire night vomiting and everything hurts the next day”.</p><hr style="background-color: #cccccc; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; height: 1px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;" /><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So I’m just accepting I can’t do as much and have taken steps to reduce physical strains.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We sent some chickens to live at my grandpa’s farm because I had “too many” and his stopped laying. Our goats went back to the ladies we bought them from. I’m closing up shop on most of my homestead adventures. Raising animals, growing vegetables, studying herbs, was all inspired by my health originally and it has been a roller coaster of emotions coming to terms with the fact that my physical abilities are not up to the task of homesteading anymore.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I had a decent run, we had a few fun years. But once the pigs go to the butcher I’ll be glad to only have chickens to care for (plus: one turkey, one duck, four guinea fowl). It takes a lot of pressure off of me and I welcome that. But the truth is 90% of the time my husband or son take care of the animals now. The last couple months have been hard and I try not to overdo it.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I wanted dairy goats so that I could have my own milk. But the truth is, I couldn’t promise I’d be able to milk them every day now that I’m not doing well. And it’s not fair to force my family to pick up the slack because I took on more than I could handle physically. But that’s where asking for help comes into place I guess but still, you have to be considerate of others time and interests.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m working on acceptance.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I’m going to do my best to keep planting herbs but chances are I’ll end up buying my supplies most of the time, and that is ok. I’d like to continue canning jam and learning how to can other foods. Which I will undoubtedly purchase from farmers markets because I cannot physically garden except for low maintenance plants. My sunflowers were lovely and attracted many birds and I thoroughly enjoyed watching them and listening to them sing in the garden. My accidental pumpkin harvest turned out fantastic and I’d like to toss a packet of seeds out into the pig pen in the spring and see how they grow. It’s all luck of the draw. But it is sad. I started out with good intentions and then couldn’t find the time to tend my garden. I spent a lot of time just completely not being able to go outside into the sun or my skin would get itchy, red and painful. By the time those perfect hours for gardening arrived each evening, I was simply just too tired to do anything more.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m not looking for pity, I know that there are many solutions available to me. Like I mentioned, I can go to farmers markets and buy dried herbs from other farms. I can seek out ingredients I need for body care products instead of keeping goats that require more time and care than I can realistically give.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My biggest worries are how much longer it is going to take to get a diagnosis? Will the stress be worth it if we only rule out things it isn’t but don’t arrive at what it is? How much will it cost in copays? Will my insurance cover treatments? Will I have to resort to pain killers and what if I end up with an addiction problem? What if it is genetic and my kids might get it from me?</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What I do know is that according to my blood work in recent years I am perfectly fine, I don’t have lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or Lyme disease. I don’t have any deficiencies, my sugar is good, my thyroid is good. Waiting on some new blood work results from today. I don’t expect them to find much.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I’ve had a heart monitor for chest pain and that was perfect too. I’ve had nerve testing done in my arms… you guessed it: everything was fine.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Maybe you thought you were here for homestead related topics... But I think real life plays into one’s ability to actually carry out those homesteading plans. Maybe one day I’ll be able to come back to it all. Maybe I’ll just have to visit farms and kiss other people’s goats.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ll be back with updates, sooner or later.</p><p></p><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-40059556479955411752019-10-06T16:10:00.002-04:002021-07-20T16:12:38.263-04:00Giving Up Homesteading<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/10/06/giving-up-homesteading/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-10-06T08:51:27-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">OCTOBER 6, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/645" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Things are changing.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are downsizing our little farm to only include birds. I gave some of my hens to my grandpa, his are older and have stopped laying. We processed the rabbits.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Despite having a buck in with our goats for months, neither is pregnant and I’m just discouraged and selling them back to the woman we bought them from. I don’t anticipate that I’ll have the time or desire for milking anyways.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our pigs are scheduled to be butchered early November. I don’t have any desire to raise pigs again. It hasn’t been bad, but it is a lot of work.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I have loved these animals but I feel like life is taking me in a different direction.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I do intend to support local farms when we buy meat in the future. They have my utmost respect and admiration.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Keeping animals is expensive. Especially if you don’t have the land and equipment to grow any of their food.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve been shifting my focus onto our house. We painted the kitchen, dining, entry and living room. Put down new flooring throughout. Next we will be building a custom pantry and then buying new living room furniture and a dining set. There are also many smaller projects and things we want to update. Like wooden blinds. Painting an old desk to better match the look that we’re working towards. Once the pantry is finished I’ll be reorganizing the kitchen we need to decide if we want to wall mount a tv above the fireplace in the living room or if we want to put it onto a different wall on a tv stand. Which means we need to decide before we buy the furniture.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I need to start studying medicinal herbs again and hope to get back to that now that the seasons are changing.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We haven’t told many people about our plans to give up the little farm dream but those who know are supportive and understanding. I appreciate that so much.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Life is always changing.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-14737520497810950672019-06-06T16:09:00.000-04:002021-07-20T16:10:17.210-04:00Little Farm Updates<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/little-farm-updates/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-06-06T17:43:27-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">JUNE 6, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/635" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our rabbits are 5 weeks old. I have a couple people interested in purchasing some as pets.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our goats are 2-3 weeks from their due dates though I’m starting to wonder about that entirely. I swear neither has gone into heat since January, but we’re all first timers here with goat kidding. And I’m essentially a mess of worry and second guessing everything.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-639" data-attachment-id="639" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg" data-orig-size="960,738" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/little-farm-updates/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=150 150w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=300 300w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg?w=768 768w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61505750_849071912117520_1596074245933236224_n.jpg 960w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My vegetable garden is thriving despite all the rain here in Western Pennsylvania Many of my medicinal herbs washed out in the rain though. I’m feeling pretty discouraged with it so I might just replant more vegetables there as well.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve noticed that food prices are going up, not drastically but gradually a few cents here and there. I looked at receipts from March and then receipts from the past week, comparing prices. Some things have jumped by 50 cents and others by 5 or 10 cents but it is happening and I have a feeling it is only going to get worse. The cashier was contemptuous when I asked if she had noticed any increases in prices. So I came home and pulled out my receipt book and found the answers I was looking for.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-636" data-attachment-id="636" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg" data-orig-size="960,720" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/little-farm-updates/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=150 150w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=300 300w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg?w=768 768w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/62115993_2534422829914730_6004915530270507008_n.jpg 960w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><hr style="background-color: #cccccc; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: 1px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;" /><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I haven’t been feeling well at all. Processed meat is giving me migraines.. I sometimes forget I’m avoiding processed meat and eat it and then I regret it for several days. I’m not sure what exactly is bothering me and triggering the migraines so I’m just going to play it save and avoid all of it. Another fun thing, soda is making my mouth swell and get rashy? For lack of a better description, rashy is the best I’ve got. So no more of that I suppose. I can only bet that I have been eating like trash for so long and now my body is like, ‘I quit this is what you’re going to get now so treat me better’. I guess I deserve it and I’m just going to let it motivate me to get into better eating and cooking habits, lest we all starve. or I starve. I have a feeling I’d be the only one starving in reality.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-638" data-attachment-id="638" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg" data-orig-size="960,960" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/little-farm-updates/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=150 150w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=300 300w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg?w=768 768w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61930625_2529269207096759_731822441092874240_n.jpg 960w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I guess all in all I’m really just disappointed at the amount of convenience foods we have now in our house.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />It’s not convenient if it makes you ill.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />It’s not convenient if it doesn’t have proper nutritional value.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But some days it does hit the spot I guess and THAT is how we get sucked into these bad habits.</p><hr style="background-color: #cccccc; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: 1px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;" /><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Other things, when our house was built the company skipped installing proper door sills and now all three of our exterior doors are severely damaged from rain getting under the door plate and setting there. The damage even extends into our daughters’ bedroom where we will have to replace the carpet and padding.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />We discovered all of this damage when we pulled old carpeting and linoleum out of the one room so that we could start putting in new flooring and put our house back together. Now our house feels like it is going to be an eternal shit show. The insurance adjuster came out today to look at all of the damage. He said he has seen this in a lot of houses and its just the lack of a proper sill under the freaking door. HOW hard is that!? Who wants to build houses that slowly sneakily rot away like that?! Hopefully our homeowners insurance will cover it. We need to get an estimate from some contractors while we wait so that we find out how expensive this is going to be if insurance won’t cover it or if we should start planning to fix it ourselves. Good times.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-637" data-attachment-id="637" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg" data-orig-size="960,720" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/06/06/little-farm-updates/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=150 150w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=300 300w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg?w=768 768w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/61090821_2509562525734094_7851150644575469568_n.jpg 960w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My husbands truck also endured over $4000 in hail damage. And our rental house’s roof is leaking, we are hoping it is a storm damage situation and not an “old roof” situation.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But at least we’ve still got the farm, hahahaha and a positive attitude. That goes a long way.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-4387639919474530052019-05-22T16:05:00.001-04:002021-07-20T16:06:36.853-04:00Family <header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/05/22/family-may-15th/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-05-22T18:38:43-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">MAY 22, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/633" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I was feeling especially not good about things yesterday.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I think I have some things I need to come to terms with.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We’re not really doing well as a family. Maybe that’s because we’re getting into the teen years of irritation and discontent humans.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There feels to be a huge amount of disconnect happening. I don’t know what to do to weave everyone back together or if that’s even something that can be done without making things worse. Maybe there is simply just and ebb and flow to a family. To these changing seasons and changing tides that roll with it.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Maybe I’ve just got to roll with it too.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Things were so much easier when our kids were little, when we were their whole world as parents and when they were children who depended on us for every single life sustaining thing. It was easy to be wrapped up eyes deep in mothering and parenting.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Now our children are 14, 12, & 9. And yes I know they still need us, but not like they used to. My oldest just made himself lunch and while he was having an argument with the air-fryer and I helped him, he didn’t really need me. But I was there so I showed him why it was being a pain. I got home from work last week and my 12 year old had baked brownies all by herself. My 9 year old literally just needs a tv and an endless supply of macaroni and cheese and chocolate milk and all will be well. But things are different.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">They’re different. And I’m not needed like I used to be and I think this whole process of growing up is opening me up to new things.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">On the other hand… I don’t feel like we really spend quality time together. Like when we do spend time together its during meals or during the rush to get ready in the morning, or when I remind them to do their chores, brush their teeth, pick up their dirty laundry. It is all the not fun, nagging parenting stuff that I get now. Only the 9 year old enjoys watching tv together once in a while. The older two would rather be texting with their friends. I think this is all probably fairly normal. But I was a young mom and therefore I don’t know many moms with kids the same ages as mine… at least none that I’d want to open up and talk to about it. About the deep rooted feelings I’ve been having.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-21290844150024885452019-05-08T16:01:00.000-04:002021-07-20T16:03:52.638-04:00Looking Back & Looking Ahead<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/05/08/looking-back-looking-ahead/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-05-08T10:39:09-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">MAY 8, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/630" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I read over a couple previous posts. </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I still don’t have any solid answers. I’m just running on faith that one day it will all pay off and we’ll have the resources to sustain this lifestyle.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The greenhouse didn’t get built in time for spring gardening and so I had to set up my seeds indoors. Resulting in fewer starts and not enough to sell anything. But the greenhouse plan has been modified since the original plan of having a freestanding greenhouse and now I intend to build it onto the front of our house. Which will act as an added living space. As such the build is going to be much more expensive than previously planned. I hope to get it framed in and roofed this fall and ready for plants by spring 2020. Ya know, unless plans change again.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Still waiting on goat kids, 5 more weeks to go. I think Belle is carrying twins, though she may just be extra plump, that’s not unlike her.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our second litter of rabbits are due this week. I’m definitely interested in selling them rather than butchering for meat for ourselves. “You buy ’em or we eat ’em”… that might be a bit harsh. But in all reality rabbit is an incredibly sustainable source of meat and the quality is top notch for protein and is very low in fat. Look in any old recipe books and I bet you’ll find recipes for rabbit. In other countries you can walk into the supermarket and buy rabbit meat and you’d be shocked at how expensive it is!</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We’re still tossing around the idea of raising some chickens for meat for ourselves. But if we’re going to do it we need to plan for a good butcher date that isn’t blistering hot outside. We seriously lack shade on our property and while we planted 20 trees this year, they won’t be much help for at least 6 years when it comes to shade haha.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We got our garden beds built, filled, fenced, mulched, totaling about $560 so far, including seeds. That was a big money drain but it was an important one. I’m struggling however to get my herbs to grow. I think that directly sowing them into the garden is going to be the best option. I’m never going to break even when it comes to gardening.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our chickens are laying so many eggs that I’ve started using eggs as currency. Haha</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I need to buy some egg cartons in bulk and start officially selling eggs. It’s almost time to put up a sign or two EGGS & RABBITS. I never thought we’d get to this point to be honest. I am going to have to get a separate mini fridge for eggs though. We’re collecting so many that there is no way to keep them all in our fridge now. And we keep them on the counter for ourselves a lot of the time depending on the weather and temperature in the house but in order to sell here they have to be washed and refrigerated and marked with the date collected.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Sometimes when I write I feel like it comes out as a jumbled mess of thoughts coupled with to do lists.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I hope that it doesn’t read that way… lol I apologize if it does.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Also, we would still like to get some pigs this year but I’m struggling to find any listings in our Area Shopper Ad, so I’m going to have to start looking elsewhere for them. I really should set up a craigslist account anyway. Also… I need to remember that site that is “like craigslist for farmers” …. because apparently that’s a great way to sell and buy what we need.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-84504663154679507272019-05-02T15:57:00.000-04:002021-07-20T15:59:13.563-04:00Seedlings ~ Projects ~ Babies, Oh my!<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/05/02/seedlings-projects-babies-oh-my/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-05-02T09:40:18-04:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">MAY 2, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/625" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve been juggling life differently lately. Balancing working with the busyness of springtime.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My garden boxes are filled with dirt, mulched around, and waiting seedlings. We also put up a fence to keep chickens and dogs out.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My little seedlings are doing pretty well but it is definitely time to put them in the garden beds. It has been raining so much I haven’t had much of a chance to get them transplanted. I’m hoping that I can get it done today. I need to look at my garden map again. My herb seeds are not growing as well as the vegetable seeds. I’m going to try direct sowing them and see what happens.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve been studying my herbs and making plans for the future.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I tried posting a new video to YouTube but I keep getting an error in the process which is infuriating. I seriously need to get a camera and use my computer to upload instead of my iPhone. But I like the ease of my iPhone for making videos so there’s that. I’m so much more likely to do it if my phone cooperates which leads me to believe that the reason I stopped uploading in the fall was because of technical difficulties. I found a couple videos I made that I never uploaded.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Next order of business… animals on the homestead.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="kits" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-627" data-attachment-id="627" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="kits" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg?w=225" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg" data-orig-size="720,960" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/05/02/seedlings-projects-babies-oh-my/kits/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg?w=113 113w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg?w=225 225w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/kits.jpg 720w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The first rabbit had her kits! I counted 8 but there may be more, I didn’t want to disturb them too much being brand new and all. Mama bunny is doing well and seems a lot happier than she was last week. She looked absolutely ticked off and I’m pretty sure she wanted to bite me at one point. The second rabbit should be due in about a week.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="eggs" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-626" data-attachment-id="626" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="eggs" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg" data-orig-size="960,960" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/05/02/seedlings-projects-babies-oh-my/eggs/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=150 150w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=300 300w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg?w=768 768w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/eggs.jpg 960w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The turkey, Groot, is laying eggs again. She is very territorial of them. I shouldn’t have taken them yesterday because today she’s going to be in a horrible mood. Maybe I’ll take them back to her. She is our only turkey so they are not fertile. And speaking of eggs, we were getting a bunch of duck eggs. But now the duck has apparently decided to lay eggs elsewhere. I’m not sure if she intends to sit on them or if she just wants to keep them hidden. I was wanting to get a few more ducklings this year so if she hatches some I’d be thrilled. We really enjoy watching them walk around the yard and I can’t wait to set them up with a swimming pool.</p><hr style="background-color: #cccccc; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: 1px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;" /><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit;">We painted our oldest kids bedroom a dark blue color and it looks awesome.</span></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="paint" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-628" data-attachment-id="628" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="paint" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg?w=240" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg" data-orig-size="768,960" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/05/02/seedlings-projects-babies-oh-my/paint/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg?w=120 120w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg?w=240 240w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2019/05/paint.jpg 768w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A perk there is left over paint and… the blue is going to be perfect for an accent wall above our fireplace. Most people would just keep it for touch ups and such but Sherwin Williams keeps records of what paint and finish we bought and I don’t really have a good place to keep things like paint from getting nasty from weather fluctuations. We need to paint the rest of our house but that’ll happen after the bedroom build. And probably towards the fall because summer is such a busy time.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-75799621644385879792019-03-06T15:49:00.001-05:002021-07-20T15:50:32.844-04:00A Country Divided<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/03/06/a-country-divided/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-03-06T09:48:03-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">MARCH 6, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/618" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don’t usually voice these sorts of thoughts so openly for the world to have access to but I feel that since it has been weighing on my mind maybe I’ll just put it out there.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></span></p><hr style="background-color: #cccccc; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: 1px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;" /><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What kind of world are we shaping for the next generation?</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m no expert on politics or anything really but I’m a parent who thinks about what kind of world we’re creating here for the next generation to live in.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I use to think that we were making progress where cultural acceptance and understanding is concerned. Diversity isn’t something to be feared but instead embraced or at the very least RESPECTED. Personal freedoms seem to have contingencies, ‘you’re free as long as you do what we say.’</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Same sex marriage is now legal in all states and yet there seems to be more opposition to it than I noticed before. People are angry and hateful. They march into schools with color coordinated t-shirts in opposition of transgender minor students using the restroom they identify with.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Racism is a more prevalent problem now than I remember. Segregation isn’t over people are just getting louder, as is their right! People like to say that African Americans haven’t been enslaved for a long time… I’ll give them that. But have you stopped to look at when segregation ended?</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The segregation of public schools in the U.S.A. was abolished in 1964. That was 55 years ago. My grandparents were in their 20s-30s and my dad was 7 years old when segregation in public school ended. <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Let that sink in</span></span>. Think about your relatives for a moment. It wasn’t that long ago and those residual racist influences are still present. Maybe not in your community or your family but in other communities and families this is still a problem and should not be discredited.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’d like to see people embrace diversity and I thought that we were on the right path years ago. But we’ve taken a hard turn and we’re decidedly content stripping the rights and freedoms of other American citizens if it aligns with our own beliefs.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our country is so divided and so angry about everything.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">abortion</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about legalizing <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">marijuana</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about a <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">boarder wall</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">minimum wage</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">racism</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">sexual orientation</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">vaccinations</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are angry about <span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">gun laws</span>.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And in the process we are dividing our country into groups of people spewing hatred for each other. Demanding law makers take action to make changes that align with the ideologies of one side of an argument and telling everyone else they should simply just agree with or “get out” of the United States of America.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There is no middle ground in a country divided by hate.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There can only be more hate, more blood shed, and more freedoms stripped from citizens.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Your constitutional rights and personal freedoms cannot take away from the constitutional rights and personal freedoms of others.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.</span></span> Nelson Mandela</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-38093673607602253682019-02-15T15:43:00.002-05:002021-07-20T15:44:28.951-04:00Is Homesteading Worth It?<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/02/15/is-homesteading-worth-it/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-02-15T17:26:14-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">FEBRUARY 15, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/604" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I think winter has been crushing my soul and dreams.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don’t feel like this homesteading lifestyle is really attainable for us. I don’t know if I have what it takes. I don’t know if it is worth all the stress.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I have a lot of guilt pertaining to homesteading because I cannot always get the chores done on my own. I am thankful that my husband and son are quick to get it done when I don’t feel up to it. But I feel like it should be my responsibility, it is after all… my dream. No one else is quite as emotionally invested in these animals as I am. No one else really cares if we raise our own meat and animals that will provide us milk. No one else shares the same vision I have about sustainability and ethical farming practices.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But I got to thinking about how expensive this lifestyle is.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In order to keep animals we had to move to the country and get a mortgage that is twice what we paid when we lived in town. In order for it to be “worth it” we would need to have that difference be made up by animals and gardening. That’s not feasible when we’re only getting 6-12 eggs a day! Our goats are not kidding or producing milk yet.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So we need about $500 worth of self sustainability, animal products, residual income to make it really “worth it” and I am not even going to factor in fencing, shelters, troughs and bowls, or medications. That’s not happening.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Feed costs us about $75 a month. Half of that is chicken feed and the other half is goat feed. Oh, we have rabbits too now so that’s probably around $20/month. Then we also buy second cut hay but that is usually covered by the $75 budget.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Other bills that have changed since we moved out to the country.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Our house is all electric and it is expensive. We bought a heat pump and that made a difference in our electric bill but the price we paid for a heat pump will take years to really reap the full benefits of the reduced expense of heating and cooling our house.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />We do not have to pay for public water or sewage but we did have to install various filtration systems in order to filter out the calcium and iron and those need routine maintenance. We also had a UV light filter installed to kill bacteria because our well water tested high for fecal coliform when we were in the process of buying. However, that’s a worrying thing for us so we buy bottled water anyway. Bottled water is expensive not to mention all that plastic is terrible for the environment. I’m looking at buying a counter top Berkey filtration system as soon as we have a little extra money for it and this will cut down our spending and trash.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Speaking of trash.. we live close to relatives and put a bag or two of our garbage in with theirs each week. We also recycle all those plastic bottles with their trash pick up.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So I guess what it all comes down to is, is it worth it?</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I enjoy the lack of neighbors super close by. I like that we can hoot and holler (if we want) and carry on outside and no one is going to call the police or complain. My husband and son can shoot their guns. We live in walking distance to good hunting land and a beautiful creek that we only just walked to yesterday for the first time. We are close to family and many friends. Our dogs have lots of room to run around and play… and poop.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There are so many benefits to where we live. I guess those things are probably worth the extra cost alone and the animals are really just a perk. Perhaps in time they’ll at least be paying for themselves or earning their keep.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It really all comes down to perspective. And winter is a bad time for perspective. We’re only just beginning and maybe this lifestyle is like a marriage. It takes work and commitment. And some seasons, literal seasons, are harder than others.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So, here I am waiting for spring to change my heart, to renew my faith in this journey.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">If it doesn’t happen to work out that way then I suppose we’ll have to look at our options for the future.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-60748925892697666272019-01-22T15:39:00.001-05:002021-07-20T15:41:28.800-04:00When Public School Doesn’t Work<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/01/22/when-public-school-doesnt-work/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-01-22T17:04:34-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">JANUARY 22, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/602" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div>We pulled our 14 year old out of school today.<br />There were many reasons for this. He was failing all of his core subjects and very likely going to have to repeat 8th grade(this is not new, he has struggled with school since kindergarten). That is not an option. The 504 Plan/Chapter 15 that we had put in place for him a year ago, was not being used. His work only started being modified this past week. They believe that his academic problems stemmed from a lack of effort. I knew they were going to say that.</div><div><br />He has a lot of anxiety about school because any time someone did something, he was being questioned about it. Yes he has done some stupid things and he owned those things and faced the consequences. Now he’s being called a liar because he denied involvement in an incident at school last week. He’s not wrong because what he is trying to be blamed for didn’t happen regardless of what other students are trying to say. He would much rather talk to us before talking to the school. Kind of like, “I’d like to speak to my lawyer.”. So he told them nothing, talked to us and we talked to them on his behalf.</div><div><br />They want so badly to prove his involvement that they’re failing to consider that other students are lying or they are misunderstanding exactly what happened. Showing a disrespectful meme in a private chat to a friend after school hours is not against any laws or policies, while it may be against better judgement or social etiquette. We informed them he was well within his rights and he knows that. What others do after that point is on them.</div><div><br />Do you have any idea how many times we’ve tried to talk to them about his academics and have gotten nowhere? Just about every single time! Including three phone calls this month that were never returned.</div><div><br />I don’t intend to send him back there.</div><div><br />I’ll quickly pull my other two kids out if issues arise.</div><div><br />I need to do some deep breathing after the morning we’ve had.<br />After the condescending remarks about homeschooling and insinuations that we are not capable people.</div><div><br />I don’t always WANT to homeschool, not having time to myself, spending lots of money on resources and books, dealing with judgement and rudeness from others; breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, elevensies, lunch, snack….. and so on.<br />But I’m a parent and I’ll do anything for my kids.</div></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-22346410609966475622019-01-01T15:35:00.001-05:002021-07-20T15:36:52.675-04:00Imperfect Mothering<header class="entry-header" style="box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2019/01/01/imperfect-mothering/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2019-01-01T17:29:27-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">JANUARY 1, 2019</time></a></span><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/599" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1></header><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">For whatever reason I couldn’t fall asleep a couple nights ago and instead my brain wanted to remind me of all the ways I haven’t been a good mother over the years. No matter how hard I tried to push the memories back more kept flooding in.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don’t know why. I was simply trying to remember a house I lived in when my son was a baby. But instead I was reminded of all my failures.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I have been a far from perfect parent. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. I’m trying my best but the truth is it might not be good enough.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I look back and I remember being so exhausted and touched out that I sometimes had to let my babies cry it out while I cried it out in the next room. I let people into our lives that were toxic and had no business in our lives. There were times when I honestly had no idea what I was doing but I was doing my best. My children have gone too long between baths sometimes. I was a heavy sleeper and a single parent most of the time when my kids were all babies, I was always so worried that I wouldn’t wake at night when they were crying.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I overreacted when I should have just taken a breath. I ruined Christmas one year when I was up wrapping presents until 4am and my kids woke up at 6am and didn’t wake me up and just tore into presents. I was heartbroken…. I was also really depressed and stressed at the time so my reaction was much worse I think. I yelled at them and cried. It’s hard to look back on now and find any humor because I seriously lost my shit that day. The day went on, we played with their new toys, went and visited family and had a nice Christmas dinner. But all I can really remember is my kids faces when I yelled at them on Christmas morning for opening presents without me.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I was often made to believe that everything that was going on was a direct result of my parenting. It was my fault. As a result my children went far longer than they should have before being properly diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. I wrongly believed that my son’s ADHD and outbursts were because I was in some way screwing him up. That’s what people told me anyway. My daughter’s autism was hard too because our pediatrician said “no way” and made me feel like I was crazy. Everyone was in such denial that there was anything different that it took years to get the diagnosis she needed, because I didn’t listen to my instincts.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I listened to the wrong advice.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I was too stern and I was also too soft.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Which means I was also inconsistent.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I was so damn imperfect.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Not my favorite kind of reminiscing at all.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Maybe I need to work on forgiving myself.</p></div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-57805196488915069402018-12-16T15:30:00.004-05:002021-07-20T15:32:09.313-04:002019 Farming Plans<h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2018/12/16/2019-farming-plans/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2018-12-16T22:39:38-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">DECEMBER 16, 2018</time><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span></a><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase;"> </span><span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/584" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></h1><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The first order of business here on the homestead is definitely watching to see when the goats are in heat. Then we will contact our people for breeding! I’m looking forward to some little goat babes and also milk! Getting to the point of having our own fresh milk has been a long time in the making.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We’re getting some rabbits in just a few weeks so we need to get cages and all that set up soon. Rabbits will be breeding for meat. I’m hopeful that it’s not too heartbreaking of a process and it is something that we can stick with. I’m a softy, I love animals. I also love self sufficiency and the low impact raising small animals has on the environment.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’d like to raise some meat birds as well. We use a lot of chicken and it would really be nice to raise our own. I’m considering also raising some turkeys possibly selling some, but I will have to gauge interest there. And look a little more into our state’s regulations.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m thinking about raising some quail for eggs and meat. The eggs are fantastic albeit a little higher in cholesterol than chicken eggs, so if cholesterol is a concern, be aware of nutrition information.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I want to get a couple kunekune pigs to raise, breed, sell/eat. I’ve read that they are a fantastic breed to keep on a small homestead so that’s what its all about!</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A small raised garden bed would be awesome and only take an afternoon to get set up! We have a ton of sunlight in the warmer months where we live, which translates to… no trees. haha</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lots of goals and aspirations for the coming year!</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I am working on refocusing my mind, my goals, and life on things that are relevant. It helps me get through these winter months. It gives me something to look forward to and a plan for the coming months.</p><div class="wp-caption alignnone" data-shortcode="caption" id="attachment_media-47" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; max-width: 100%; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 1890px;"><img alt="agriculture animal baby beak" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-media-47" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-596" data-attachment-id="596" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="<p>Photo by Achim Bongard on <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/agriculture-animal-baby-beak-286580/" rel="nofollow">Pexels.com</a></p>
" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="agriculture animal baby beak" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg" data-orig-size="1880,1253" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/pexels-photo-286580/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=1352 1352w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=150 150w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=300 300w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=768 768w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/pexels-photo-286580.jpeg?w=1024 1024w" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 100%;" /><p></p></div></div><p><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /></p>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-7024366252732880862018-12-15T15:10:00.003-05:002021-07-20T15:29:36.690-04:00December 15 2018: Ch'Ch'Changes<h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; color: #2d2d2d; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 4.5rem; font-style: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ch’Ch’Changes</h1><div class="entry-meta" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1.4rem; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: 1px; margin: 0.85em 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="posted-on" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2018/12/15/chchchanges/" rel="bookmark" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2018-12-15T21:39:48-05:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">DECEMBER 15, 2018</time><span class="byline" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> / </span><span class="author vcard" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span></a><a class="url fn n" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/author/raelafaye/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">RACHEL</a></span> <span class="edit-link" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="sep" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #dddddd; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 5px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">/ </span><a class="post-edit-link" href="https://wordpress.com/post/raelafaye.wordpress.com/579" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;">EDIT</a></span></div><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">So I’m apparently a master at changing plans. It must be a strong skill set because here we are changing things again. And not changing things we thought we were going to.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We thought we were going to move. Simplify, downsize, but I kind of panicked and there are a lot of reasons we shouldn’t do that right now. There will be plenty of time to change our lives later and it may even be better and more specifically what we want when our kids are grown and we don’t have to take all of their wants and needs into consideration. I’ve wanted to be “off grid” for a while and I’m not saying it can’t be done with children, it absolutely can. But mine are used to on-grid living and our planned move wasn’t going to be off grid because we didn’t want to radically change their lives. Plans change though and before we know it our kids are going to be adults. And maybe we will want to something else entirely. By the time they are grown perhaps I won’t want to necessarily be off grid… depends on my physical ability and a million other things I’m sure.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I had a pretty shit day yesterday. Woke up with a migraine and it just wouldn’t go away. I took medications, breathed in steamy water with essential oils, went outside and let the cool moist air do its thing on my sinuses, drank some coffee, cuddled some dogs. Along the way something finally relieved my head probably a little bit of everything, especially the dog cuddling. But in the process of being absolutely miserable my chickens, ducks, turkey, and goats had to wait until afternoon to get food. Which makes me feel guilty, it makes me feel like I have no business having animals if I cannot get out there to tend to them. Maybe we all have bad days like this… but I feel downright worthless at times when I’m struggling. I tell myself that these things happen and everyone is fine. It makes me wish I had a better feeding and watering system in place so that my animals could go longer but they’d probably just binge eat instead and still be without food. Do animals binge eat? My dogs cannot have access to food at all times. They’ll make themselves sick. But there is another factor… rats. Every winter rats set up their homes near the animal shelters and I really don’t want them having access to food more than they already do. Last year they started stealing eggs. We had to put poison out and that was nerve wracking. I was so worried that the chickens were going to get into it. And now we have naughty goats and I really don’t think poison is an option so they’re just going to have to wait for their daily meal sometimes I guess.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our goats are old enough and big enough to breed but I cannot for the life of me tell when they are in heat. I’m going to have to pay closer attention every day and figure it out. I’m excited to start getting goat milk, that’s the whole reason we got those naughty little goat girls. They’re not all bad, but they will eat everything which is problematic when it comes to weatherizing coops. They’ve eaten insulation and paneling that was put up to keep them all warmer out there. We’re going to have to get more creative for next winter and probably just use solid boards for the inner walls. Another thing… they stay in the chicken coop instead of the shelter that we built just for them. I guess that will be ok…. we can use the goat barn for milking and kidding.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We have a closed off coop in the animal enclosure. It used to be for the chickens but it was a real pain to get into, to collect eggs so we closed it up when the new one was built. My daughter wants to use it as a play house, the goats get on the roof and scream haha. Maybe it will be a good place to keep some meat birds next year.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We also need to get some rabbit hutches build soon. We are going to be raising meat rabbits and a friend has a few that will be ready to go in about 4 weeks. I have no idea where to set them up at. They can’t be near chickens because they can get coccidosis. Goats are susceptible to coccidosis as well but we have not had any issues. I’m not sure if that means we’ve got healthy chickens or if we’re just lucky. Chickens carry the coccidosis organism in their digestive tracts but do not usually become sick from it. However, since they are carriers other animals are at risk. Coccidosis in rabbits is more severe and you want to limit exposure as much as possible.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Other news, I’m planning to start studying herbalism in the next few months. I’m very excited to start. I’m going to be doing online classes through <a href="http://www.chestnutherbs.com/" rel="noopener" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #1abc9c; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Chestnut School of Herbal Medicine</a>. There is so much that I don’t know and I want to learn it all the best way possible.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I haven’t been doing any YouTube videos lately. This is definitely a side effect of stress, a lot of things I was doing are now just chilling on the back burner or maybe boiling over. I’m not sure. But I know they are there and when I’m in a better place I’ll get back to it all. I’m glad that I have that freedom and that I have options. Maybe that’s why I struggle so much with everything in my life that I try to do… projects, work, crafty things, selling on etsy… all of it sooner or later gets shoved to the back burner and all that work I put in is really just for nothing because if you aren’t consistent even through horrible depression… I think your dreams just fade away for the most part. Or at the very least people don’t take you seriously, because you’re kind of flaky. I don’t know how other people do it all the time. Maybe they don’t have mental illness, maybe they have different supports in place. I’m just trying to focus right now on getting my mind and soul back into a rhythm that says “this is good, everything is ok” because I’m coming down from stress that has had me in fight or flight mode every time something else popped up.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And its the holidays. When I’m feeling crafty I’ve been crafting cookies instead of digital things. Like these super cute cookies.</p><div class="tiled-gallery type-rectangular" data-carousel-extra="{"blog_id":96986775,"permalink":"https:\/\/raelafaye.wordpress.com\/2018\/12\/15\/chchchanges\/","likes_blog_id":96986775}" data-original-width="676" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/ImageGallery" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; clear: both; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 20px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="gallery-row" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="676" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; height: 255px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 676px;"><div class="gallery-group images-1" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="338" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; height: 255px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: 338px;"><div class="tiled-gallery-item tiled-gallery-item-large" itemprop="associatedMedia" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/ImageObject" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: inherit;"><a border="0" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2018/12/15/chchchanges/47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n/" itemprop="url" style="background-position: 0px 0px; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline; width: auto;"><img alt="47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n" data-attachment-id="582" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n.jpg" data-orig-size="960,720" data-original-height="251" data-original-width="334" height="251" itemprop="http://schema.org/image" scale="2" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n.jpg?w=334&h=251" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n.jpg?w=334&h=251&zoom=2 2x" style="background-position: 0px 0px; border: none; box-shadow: none; box-sizing: border-box; height: 251px; margin: 2px !important; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 334px;" title="47580062_2244053938951622_212736172621824000_n" width="334" /></a></div></div><div class="gallery-group images-1" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="338" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; height: 255px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: 338px;"><div class="tiled-gallery-item tiled-gallery-item-large" itemprop="associatedMedia" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/ImageObject" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline; width: inherit;"><a border="0" href="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2018/12/15/chchchanges/47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n/" itemprop="url" style="background-position: 0px 0px; border: none; box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline; width: auto;"><img alt="47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n" data-attachment-id="581" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n.jpg?w=300" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n.jpg" data-orig-size="960,720" data-original-height="251" data-original-width="334" height="251" itemprop="http://schema.org/image" scale="2" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n.jpg?w=334&h=251" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n.jpg?w=334&h=251&zoom=2 2x" style="background-position: 0px 0px; border: none; box-shadow: none; box-sizing: border-box; height: 251px; margin: 2px !important; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 334px;" title="47465536_2244053945618288_4648804208131178496_n" width="334" /></a></div></div></div></div><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My daughters really enjoy helping to decorate them too.</p><p style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.7em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-580" data-attachment-id="580" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-caption="" data-image-description="" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0"}" data-image-title="47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n" data-large-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg?w=676" data-medium-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg?w=225" data-orig-file="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg" data-orig-size="720,960" data-permalink="https://raelafaye.wordpress.com/2018/12/15/chchchanges/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n/" sizes="(max-width: 676px) 100vw, 676px" src="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg?w=676" srcset="https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg?w=676 676w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg?w=113 113w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg?w=225 225w, https://raelafaye.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/47323024_2244053995618283_4482053352699461632_n.jpg 720w" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></p><div class="wpcnt" id="wordads-preview-parent" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="wpa" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-block !important; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: left; transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px); vertical-align: baseline;"></div></div></div><p><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /></p>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-92005438770553806502018-09-18T21:01:00.001-04:002018-09-18T21:01:18.373-04:00Time Suck Vs. Joy Vs. Is there even a problem? I get so tired of the time suck known as Facebook. <br />I know I could end it simply by logging off but I am hesitant. And really it only hurts myself.<br />
I find myself comparing at times and that's not helpful. It would be great if I could keep my business page up and not my personal fb page.... maybe that's something!<br />
<br />
Maybe things wouldn't be that much different. I really have a lot of groups and people I enjoy on Facebook I just need to spend less time on it. Maybe that's the key. Just not opening it.<br />
I'm going to try that first I think.<br />
<br />
Then I don't have to give up the good parts.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm just having a hard time right now I think and I have a tendency to close myself off from people entirely. I'm like a caterpillar making a cocoon. But I don't think I end up turning into a butterfly or being better off for it. Possibly worse.<br />
Maybe that's why I want to run away from Facebook.<br />
<br />
I feel pretty isolated already. Why not delete it all? That's kind of the mentality I think. <br />
I don't want to feel this way but its like... if I must then fuck it I'm all in I suppose. Maybe that's my deep dark depression trying to take root. It doesn't really feel that way. I think I'm just adjusting to life now and its busy and hard and things are going to change again and be full of all kinds of things that have to be done and tended to. <br /><br />I'm feeling tired before the work has begun. I feel lonesome in anticipation of the long days and nights and time alone. I feel exhausted mentally at the stresses and I'm fighting this overwhelming urge to go through the house boxing and bagging and throwing things out.<br />
<br />
But when I tired to go through a shelf today I couldn't find anything to get rid of.<br />
Nothing. So I think I have a problem, or maybe the house isn't the problem but I'm trying to make it the problem somehow. <br /><br />I have no idea. I think I might be a crazy person. <br />
<br />
I'm restless.<br />
<br />
I need a project. <br /><br />I need to shut off my brain and watch tv or something. Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-6259443834818057112018-09-13T17:52:00.001-04:002018-09-13T17:52:21.893-04:00Ramblings & BullshitThere always seems to be this inner turmoil that I carry around. Lately I just feel like I should have done more in my life. I should have had a career or an accomplishment or something of some kind of measurable success. I should have developed a skill in all my time as a stay at home mom. But I'm too busy bouncing from one thing to another. I do a little bit of a lot of different things.<br />
<br />
This is a reoccurring feeling. I know I've probably whined about it before... maybe even in my last post. <br />
<br />
I knit, sew, do needlepoint, take pictures, write, collect vintage things(that I sometimes sell).<br />
I cook and bake usually out of necessity but sometimes for pleasure. I do a lot of lame things too like clean and organize. I like to read. But I'm not like a book critic or anything. And when I write I am absolutely 100% sure that I'm not doing so correctly when it comes to grammar, punctuation, etc.(other things I don't even know the words for).<br />
I'd like to one day write a book but I worry that my actual writing skills are so bad that I'd have to just stick to childrens books. Which is actually what I want to write first at least so there is that. <br />
Keep it simple Rachel, just like you. Derp. <br />
<br />
I am homeschooling one of the kids again, the youngest, not to worry no big hard english rules to teach yet. I'm relieved too, trust me. <br />
<br />
I guess I really don't do all that much but I am good at spreading myself thin. I have been thinking about taking a break from facebook. It eats up so much time. Maybe I will start by deleting the app from my phone and see if that's enough without going completely off the rails and deleting it. Because it is a good way to stay connected with people. Not that I like people or being connected or going to parties or anything of that sort. <br />
<br />
Its just, not easy for people to constantly stay in contact and facebook is a nice way to let people know what you're up to who actually care to check in on you. I know there are a lot of people who's photos and posts and such I really do love seeing! I like knowing what is going on in their lives. I like celebrating with my friends. I cannot expect them all to message me personally. And I certainly do not want to be reaching out like that either. Not that I'd have anything to share except animal things maybe? I have no idea this is a rambling of nonsense. I'm bad at blogging now too. Yay go me!<br />
<br />
I worry a lot about a lot of things. And we're in the beginning steps of huge life changes. The next year is going to be wild! So much change, work, more work, stress. Did I mention work?<br />
Yeah it is going to be like that and there is no way around it. You just cannot expect that what you want in life is going to come easy. That is not the way that it goes. It takes time, work, dedication, discipline, and probably sweat, tears and blood. We definitely need to put a few hundred dollars in the savings account for medical emergencies because something will inevitably happen and we'll need that ER copay money.<br />
<br />
Ok.... this is enough. Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-54948312339147284812018-01-15T16:41:00.005-05:002018-01-15T16:41:56.085-05:00Life Intentional I’ve had this ideal of life in my mind for some time. This aspiring
goal I guess of who I want to be and how I want to live but in reality I
haven’t done nearly enough to make the ideal a real thing that is
happening in my life.<br />
<br />
Small steps have been made and that’s well and good but I need big changes too.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I think back to when we didn’t have home internet. It was
harder in some ways, like I wouldn’t be writing this for example. But it
was also easier in other ways and it made my days more productive. I
wish that I could unplug easier sometimes but now I we have this
dependence and it is almost suffocating at times to be completely
honest.<br />
<br />
I’m going to try to unplug more. Fill my days with more productivity.
Get more sleep, binge netflix a little less and hopefully it won’t be
miserably hard to get my children on board with a little less screen
time. I know it couldn’t hurt.<br />
<br />
Who knows maybe my ideal life just is not going to happen for me.<br />
<br />
I had this dream once and in it I was living my life completely
unencumbered by distractions. I want to live more intentionally. I have
to I think my soul needs it.<br />
<br />
I don’t thrive in chaos. And life just seems like chaos anymore.
Maybe that’s the natural flow of things maybe that’s how things
generally are buy are we not the captains here? Are we not the ones
paving our paths? We cannot control everything, but we can influence. We
have the freedom to make our own choices. To say no, and know when
enough is enough and I’m sooooo totally getting there.<br />
<br />
I am a natural worrier. Don’t even get me started because I could
give you a list as long as this post about things to worry about. I
cannot afford to take on other people’s stresses and worries too. I just
can’t, I have to know when enough is enough because I absorb it all and
can’t let it go. This contributes to my exhausted feelings.<br />
<br />
I cannot give away more of myself to others and outside influences
than I even possess to be able to build my own life up the way that I
want it to be. I can’t, I have to know when enough is enough. It’s hard
because I care so damn much. But who gives a shit about me?<br />
<br />
No one because real world problems are pretty much zilch for me and I
am so grateful. SO SO grateful. Its all philosophical shit, emotional,
its deep in the foundational cracks. There isn’t an issue, its just that
I want to be truer to who I am. This is what I need.<br />
<br />
And a platform to ramble obviously since I’m apparently pretty good at it.<br />
<br />
But I need to organize my thoughts and these ideals in my mind and
figure out what I am actually capable of doing. If I can be the person
that is in my mind.Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-15735980769598706622017-12-05T11:09:00.003-05:002017-12-05T11:09:43.568-05:00Who We Are <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been reflecting lately.<br />I believe that some parts of who we are have been there inside of us before we even knew it ourselves. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been sneaking sips of coffee since I was a toddler and coffee is one of my favorite drinks. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've had an intense fascination wish other cultures, beliefs, and religions since I was a child and it hasn't stopped. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I learned about Hanukkah I insisted on getting a little plastic battery operated menorah. I don't remember this, my mother told me about it a little over a year ago when I was talking to her about Judaism.<br />When I was little I tried to knit pieces of yarn with pencils for knitting needles, despite everyone in my life being crocheters and living in a house full of crochet hooks. I learned recently that knitting comes naturally to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I was 5 or 6 years old I decided that I was never going to love anyone else the way that I loved the little boy who rode the same bus and lived just down the road. I wanted to marry him, and years later I did.<br />When I was little I loved thrift shops and antique stores. I always found something that I thought was curious and unique and wanted to bring home. I'm still a collector of unique things. I get so excited at amazing things that could have been lost with time and dust.<br />I've always loved jelly donuts, the smell of rain, the way new baby cows look curiously around at the new world they're in almost as though they remember being in their mother's wombs more clearly.<br />The childish wonder of a vivid rainbow has never faded. <br />I enjoy the smell of warm milk but not the taste and maybe in another 30 years I'll enjoy the taste and think in wonder at how I must have known deep down all this time, but that part of who I am was not yet ready to be.<br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With some things we just are who we are I think. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who we are is who we were before we realized we were old enough to be anything yet.<br /><br />I'm not sure if we enjoy things so much that they become characteristics or if our, perhaps god-given, ingrained characteristics guide us and shape us into the passions and greatest loves of our lives and who we are ultimately seen as by ourselves and everyone else.</span><br /><br /><br />
<br />
<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-84062268939677142352017-10-30T14:36:00.000-04:002017-10-30T14:43:15.073-04:00Bending Lest We BreakI hope I can put this into words more eloquently than I anticipate it to sound... <br />
<br />
What I thought was going to be an emotional roller coaster of a weekend. Turned out to be pretty great. I don't really know how much to share on such a topic but the truth is family relationships are so hard. It takes a lot of work, as all relationships do.<br />
<br />
Sadly it is easier to neglect those connections with time and distance. Then add misconstrued conversations. Then you add in technology and personal insecurities. What a recipe it is. In a time when people are so connected, it is easy to completely disconnect from each other all the same.<br />
<br />
I think a lot of reconnecting happened this weekend and it was pretty fucking amazing. I think that with time and distance came too the opportunity for personal growth and independence. Time changes people and so does life.<br />
<br />
I'm thankful for this weekend and re-connection with family. <br />
Life is fleeting. Not everyone gets that and it makes you cherish it so much more.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-79964023870058437792017-10-29T10:19:00.001-04:002017-10-29T10:19:17.776-04:00 Insecurities About Being A Homemaker I have really been struggling lately with being a homemaker vs. working outside the home.<br />
<br />
I get email updates regularly for new job listings. I read through them meticulously wondering if perhaps one of these jobs might be the right one for me. But mostly the jobs that speak to me require more experience and/or education than I possess. I'm left feeling inadequate and just kind of worthless. Almost like I'm taking things too personally?<br />
<br />
However, at the same time I've been trying to focus on being more productive at home. Getting more things done, saving money, being more available and less distracted. I believe that a stay at home mother is supposed to be an asset to her family. I haven't felt like I've been doing this job very well to be honest. I feel like more of a burden than an asset and I spent a good chunk of time crying about it a couple days ago.<br />
<br />
If I don't have the skills or education for a job outside the home to be able to contribute financially to my family I have to do this homemaker job well. And if I don't then I've failed monumentally.<br />
<br />
But in this I've got to let go a little bit. I've got to accept that this is my decision, that I want to be a homemaker and I want to do it well. Because I don't know that I've taken this job seriously now that my kids have been getting older and I know I've taken this opportunity for granted on many levels.<br />
<br />
It is also hard to feel like I'm in the right place. I don't know any other women who are "career homemakers".... if that makes sense, I'm not even sure that's even a term close to what I mean. But I battle feeling like I'm not doing enough because I see so many women working and I know I shouldn't compare but I do. And I admire them so much! I think that they are amazing. <br />
<br />
Maybe I feel guilty because I'm not a very good homemaker. But in my mind maybe I'm delusional about what that actually means. I feel like if I'm not good at this job, I really should have a job. And maybe like parenting I'm always going to feel a bit insecure and that doesn't necessarily mean I'm doing an awful job, it could just mean that I want to strive to always improve and get better at it. <br />
<br />
I wonder if other women struggle with these feelings. <br />
Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-19974217593556858512017-10-19T08:37:00.001-04:002017-10-19T08:37:56.210-04:00Our Little House On The Prairie I guess you could say I've been dealing with some restless energy. I tend to go all in when there is an idea or a possibility. I want to explore it completely and learn everything that I can. <br /><br />In most cases this is wasted energy because nothing comes of it.<br />
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But at least I am informed completely and that might make it easier to cast aside the crazy ideas from the good ones.<br />
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What am I talking about? <br /><br />Well our house is small. We need more space and we don't know how to get the most for our money. <br /><br />At first I had wanted to expand the laundry room out from the back of the house, and include enough space to make it a sufficient mud room and alternate entry with a good size storage closet and also put a bedroom out there as well. <br />We've also been thinking from the other end of the house to the right of the fireplace would be a good doorway down to a mud room that leads to a garage and then put a loft above with a couple bedrooms. Hell, maybe we need both additions for this house realistically.<br />
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But realistically, we don't have the money up front for it, and we also don't have enough equity in the house to borrow from the bank. <br />Perhaps if we found a way to fund one renovation... we could have the equity to build the other one. It is so damn expensive and we also want to expand our farming endeavors. We need a proper barn especially if we're getting goats and rabbits in the spring like we are planning.<br />
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We discussed the option of selling and buying a bigger piece of land and building on it... but it just doesn't feel like the right choice. That would have to be painfully expensive for one thing. And I really like our neighbors here.<br />
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Having more property is something that we intend to do in the future. It is an incredible investment to make. It could be property for our children to build houses one day, it could be something that is kept in the family for generations. Who knows.<br />
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But that's what has been on my mind. <br />Here's a general idea of our floor plan. My bathroom is different. There is a fireplace and built in bookshelves/cabinets on the far wall in the Family Room. The dining room has our most used entry door in it. <br /><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAn_-5ya9JTmDlVhAi3h32gqKndMtuwc69Iwve-CYMr1BDEyakbvtFPGLs8b6vuWUhnhd4AIKaksOjVHMwSKkTblJxmvNgEtXXKDBvcNvE-zKpiK9_ZldnceRsa2VX16Bv1D7lZORc13Mu/s1600/floor+plan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAn_-5ya9JTmDlVhAi3h32gqKndMtuwc69Iwve-CYMr1BDEyakbvtFPGLs8b6vuWUhnhd4AIKaksOjVHMwSKkTblJxmvNgEtXXKDBvcNvE-zKpiK9_ZldnceRsa2VX16Bv1D7lZORc13Mu/s640/floor+plan.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /><br /> Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1908329425496050677.post-15366913022246195752017-10-14T10:56:00.001-04:002017-10-14T10:57:42.817-04:00Opened A Shop I have been collecting vintage items for years. Clothes, books, vases, etc. <br />
Throughout all the years and moves and downsizing I ended up getting rid of some of my collection. Which has resulted in some serious face palm action, but overall I'm ok with that. While I love these items and I have a good eye for finding them, I cannot logically keep them, it would be a hoarding situation. Honestly I'd be ok with that, but realistically I need to make arrangements for these amazing vintage finds to go to their new homes. <br />
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Therefore I set up an Etsy shop this week! It has been a long time coming and I'm so excited about it! <br />
Getting to share what I love with the world and maybe make some money to help support my family a bit, or fund all my crafty adventures that seem to add up to a bill all their own every month. I think I spent $150 in September on paint and sanders and more paint and hardware for furniture. It seriously adds up. <br />
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I painted the dining room table a few weeks back and it is sooo pretty. I've had the dining set for nearly 10 years now and the color really gave it new life. I'm trying to decide if I want to paint the chairs too or if I want to replace the chairs with stools for a cleaner looking dining space. I'll write on my projects at another time. When I have all my photographs organized. <br />
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Here is a link to my shop. I only have 4 items listed right now. <br />
<a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/564500035/vintage-floral-denim-romper-overall?ref=listings_manager_grid" target="_blank">Crafty Country Vintage</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqZXq7VG73g_hakqr_RqeDAUHSK94toKUER4yTpX3CfZIG-ZUxPj_AYYaohtsj_KaHlPDcx465Ml-PUrZUFYMUmjR83ZIW3J-FKJxFKiDvdnh6t3qSQncRfNe_7g1X9JnDw5d6ktsXOf5/s1600/DSC_0305.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqZXq7VG73g_hakqr_RqeDAUHSK94toKUER4yTpX3CfZIG-ZUxPj_AYYaohtsj_KaHlPDcx465Ml-PUrZUFYMUmjR83ZIW3J-FKJxFKiDvdnh6t3qSQncRfNe_7g1X9JnDw5d6ktsXOf5/s320/DSC_0305.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJYVL39vYrA9y19LNmww2JL8a5UP67mU9opiPHySUBqI39xVjZRLfkR5Htm999t-JARxElTIiaztgFN-Dd1iFwH0xLX0QIdvaSSMWlTpQ_lscMI8ngEnTwbEMuphkKt6l9545nxSXuGL02/s1600/DSC_0289+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1336" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJYVL39vYrA9y19LNmww2JL8a5UP67mU9opiPHySUBqI39xVjZRLfkR5Htm999t-JARxElTIiaztgFN-Dd1iFwH0xLX0QIdvaSSMWlTpQ_lscMI8ngEnTwbEMuphkKt6l9545nxSXuGL02/s320/DSC_0289+%25282%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3juVsJwLcIqx-lJ4SZ2nym3ZeAthjtBWTwRNvSHNWWG5uGiP8yG1mvjrLKYz8ywgA_s3DUuABsUEPN0d2KCWF5qSRD13XH6Z2mLP7eNNyaWN5CWR5TMKYg6rRGGlQaG2p0IbM2SA57GD/s1600/DSC_0315.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3juVsJwLcIqx-lJ4SZ2nym3ZeAthjtBWTwRNvSHNWWG5uGiP8yG1mvjrLKYz8ywgA_s3DUuABsUEPN0d2KCWF5qSRD13XH6Z2mLP7eNNyaWN5CWR5TMKYg6rRGGlQaG2p0IbM2SA57GD/s320/DSC_0315.JPG" width="320" /></a> As I navigate time management and prep items for sale more will be listed. <br />
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Truth be told, I'm pretty excited and I'm happy to have followed through on this after so many years. <br />
Wish me luck.<br />
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<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00491644441501081336noreply@blogger.com0