Sunday, July 28, 2013

Raising Individual People

Children have their own personalities, likes and dislikes, emotions, instincts, and sense of direction. They know what they want, just as you know what you want.
Do not plan your child's life for them. Do not try to raise a child who is "just like you". It is bad enough that they have to be defined as being "your child" without all that emphasis on their personality traits being a direct reflection of who the parents are.
Life and circumstances alone will shape and squash your precious offspring so much as it stands. Have faith that the person who you are will be a good example for your child. Not a fully paved path for them to follow. Trust that they will look to you for guidance and they will look to you in ways that will allow them to do better than you did. They will learn from your mistakes if you let them. They will grow up into amazing people if you give them the time, if you trust them, if you stand back and just watch sometimes.
Do not pressure them to do the things that you liked to do as a child simply because you liked to do those things. Do not try to live vicariously through those people who share your genetics. They are their own people. Don't decide for your child that they will play sports or the violin because you wish that you had. Because you want to be "that mom/dad" cheering or standing proud listening to them play on stage. Do not compete with other parents who are imposing upon their children and pushing them and dropping stacks of books by their favorite authors into these kids laps. Do not teach your children that they need to make anyone proud but themselves. Personal growth and achievement is the primary goal.

Stop and ask yourself always "what are my intentions?".... "why do I want this for him/her?". Always ask yourself questions, it is the best way to evaluate yourself and to grow as a person; personal growth is an ongoing aspect of life.