Thursday, August 29, 2013

Trust Them

Your children are free thinkers and are their own people. Not another version of who you even while they may look very much like you. 

You hope to raise them the best that you can with what you have and the will you possess inside you. You do not look down upon them because they make bad decisions. You lend a hand or wait until the lesson has been learned. When your son or daughter picks themselves up and dusts themselves off with or without help, you are proud. The parent watches and learns from the child as the child watched and learned from the parent. Trust that you were a good example.

As a parent you want to protect your children forever but you know that you will not be able to that. So you equip them with morals and reasoning. Always making sure that they know you support them unconditionally. Should they ever need your help, they know as children and as adults that your arms will be there to comfort, not to ridicule or shame. 

One day that adult child of yours will look for comfort and reassurance in the arms and advice of someone else, a spouse. This person will become one of the most influential people in your child's life. You will have to let this wash over you and separate yourself from certain roles you previously filled. When you are gone, your grown child will have a family of their own and this one person to confide in. You should be proud.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Raising Individual People

Children have their own personalities, likes and dislikes, emotions, instincts, and sense of direction. They know what they want, just as you know what you want.
Do not plan your child's life for them. Do not try to raise a child who is "just like you". It is bad enough that they have to be defined as being "your child" without all that emphasis on their personality traits being a direct reflection of who the parents are.
Life and circumstances alone will shape and squash your precious offspring so much as it stands. Have faith that the person who you are will be a good example for your child. Not a fully paved path for them to follow. Trust that they will look to you for guidance and they will look to you in ways that will allow them to do better than you did. They will learn from your mistakes if you let them. They will grow up into amazing people if you give them the time, if you trust them, if you stand back and just watch sometimes.
Do not pressure them to do the things that you liked to do as a child simply because you liked to do those things. Do not try to live vicariously through those people who share your genetics. They are their own people. Don't decide for your child that they will play sports or the violin because you wish that you had. Because you want to be "that mom/dad" cheering or standing proud listening to them play on stage. Do not compete with other parents who are imposing upon their children and pushing them and dropping stacks of books by their favorite authors into these kids laps. Do not teach your children that they need to make anyone proud but themselves. Personal growth and achievement is the primary goal.

Stop and ask yourself always "what are my intentions?".... "why do I want this for him/her?". Always ask yourself questions, it is the best way to evaluate yourself and to grow as a person; personal growth is an ongoing aspect of life.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Make the time.

~ We never took the time to sit down and discuss what kinds of parents we intended to be. Only ever embracing life as we went along. Day by day, phase by phase, milestones and digital images.
Why is this the case? Shouldn't we sit back and close our eyes and envision the kind of life we want to have with our children with the intent of making that a reality? You know, BEFORE getting to the point where you're looking in the mirror saying - 'I'm an impatient disconnected fuck of a parent' or 'This is not what I wanted to become' or 'I could have been better'.
After all, "The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are."- Jim Henson
You should ALWAYS reevaluate yourself, your intentions, and reflect upon how you have influenced your children. What message are you giving them? Are you the kind of person you hope your children become?
~ <3 Rachel

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Unguided-Unstructured Education for One

I thought that putting my littlest child into preschool would help her. I also thought that it would help me too. I desperately needed to get a couple hours here and there to myself. I thought that a more structured environment would be good for her. That she would observe other kids, and listen to her teachers and she might be easier to direct at home as a result.
I was wrong.

My little girl loved school, her teachers, and her new friends. But she began regressing developmentally at home. All that potty training... well that went right out the window. I tried my hardest to endure this but I was failing. So, after months of regression with potty training we pulled her from school. She has since improved. Her behavior seems to be improving as well.

It is now that I realize how wrong I was about my child needing "more structure". What she needed was for me to become less structured too in order to understand her and meet her needs.
I am entirely too organized sometimes in life.
I am controlling and if I can't "control" (or give myself the illusion that I am in control of) the situation or circumstances well then I become an extremely anxious crazy lady.

So now dear readers, the point: I am going to be providing my dear child with her preschool education in the fall. 
I am putting together ideas, resources, and an education "plan". Or unplanned education; perhaps she'll guide me.

Friday, February 22, 2013

She's Not Bulletproof

I'm far from perfect in the sense that, if someone was coming to visit, I would make my bed, but any other day of the week it is a mess. 

I am trying and I am sinking. Like quick sand.
The more you try to pick yourself up the more it sucks you down.

My youngest child is having some issues. My oldest child is having problems too. The middle kiddo, she's skipping without missing a step, unless of course if you count the allergy issues. *sigh*

I am getting calls, being questioned. And forever I am doubting my own parenting.
You know, the number ONE thing that I do with my time as a stay at home mother. Perhaps I am being selfish when I'm saying/thinking "WHY is this happening to ME!?". It could always be worse and our little problems aren't really so bad at all.

I feel this. This is real to me. This is my reality and it's sucking me under with every step that I take.