Family

MAY 22, 2019 / RACHEL / EDIT

I was feeling especially not good about things yesterday.

I think I have some things I need to come to terms with.

We’re not really doing well as a family. Maybe that’s because we’re getting into the teen years of irritation and discontent humans.

There feels to be a huge amount of disconnect happening. I don’t know what to do to weave everyone back together or if that’s even something that can be done without making things worse. Maybe there is simply just and ebb and flow to a family. To these changing seasons and changing tides that roll with it.

Maybe I’ve just got to roll with it too.

Things were so much easier when our kids were little, when we were their whole world as parents and when they were children who depended on us for every single life sustaining thing. It was easy to be wrapped up eyes deep in mothering and parenting.

Now our children are 14, 12, & 9. And yes I know they still need us, but not like they used to. My oldest just made himself lunch and while he was having an argument with the air-fryer and I helped him, he didn’t really need me. But I was there so I showed him why it was being a pain. I got home from work last week and my 12 year old had baked brownies all by herself. My 9 year old literally just needs a tv and an endless supply of macaroni and cheese and chocolate milk and all will be well. But things are different.

They’re different. And I’m not needed like I used to be and I think this whole process of growing up is opening me up to new things.

On the other hand… I don’t feel like we really spend quality time together. Like when we do spend time together its during meals or during the rush to get ready in the morning, or when I remind them to do their chores, brush their teeth, pick up their dirty laundry. It is all the not fun, nagging parenting stuff that I get now. Only the 9 year old enjoys watching tv together once in a while. The older two would rather be texting with their friends. I think this is all probably fairly normal. But I was a young mom and therefore I don’t know many moms with kids the same ages as mine… at least none that I’d want to open up and talk to about it. About the deep rooted feelings I’ve been having.