Self Improvement *February 2012*

I have been working on myself lately. Hopes, dreams, goals, how to, and all that jazz.

I have been trying to get myself back on track and out of my BLAH mode. Which has included some creative endeavors. Including painting and sketching. I don't have a lot of time for these things but when the chance is there and so is the motivation I take advantage of it. I recently made a cake for a relative's party and I was pretty proud of how it turned out.

Let's talk about the economy. **October 2011**

This isn't an economic recession, this is a g'damn CRISIS!!!

So why don't I go get a job? Good freakin' point! Thank you for bringing that to my attention, imaginary person I just made up.

Well, let me just say that with a limited education and no experience to get a suitable job that would pay child care costs I can't afford to work either! Amazing isn't it!? So I have three kids... one is in school from 8-4. I need a morning shift, and a sitter for my girls. Well then I need to make at least.... $16 an hour to be able to pay for the child care and gas and make some kind of profit.  Recommend me a job, antidepressants, a good surgeon for carpal tunnel, and we can see how far I can get. :)

So... I have had little job experience, spent the last 3 years raising my children (poor resume), and I'm not sure if I'm going to finish my college associate degree program because I failed out of the math.. twice! I know, I know, I'm a genius! .... Not.

So here is my bitch fest moment for the day:

I was supposed to have X amount of money and I really have 1/2 of X. All of X would have barely kept the bank account in the positive and would have not been able to cover the cost of my car insurance.

So I had 1/2 of X and now I have 1/4 of X because I decided I might as well pay one thing since the bank is going to bounce anyway. The other 1/4 of X will go into the bank for shits and giggles and an "oh well, I tried". Meanwhile I feel like exploding because I can't fix this CRAP!

I did it! **March**

I ran, I ate healthy, I cut back my caffeine (coffee), cut out the soda, increased water consumption. Now... what do I make for dinner? My legs are tired, so I'm sitting here sipping an evening coffee and trying to find a simple healthy recipe to make for dinner for me and my little girls.
It's my son's turn away at my parents house so he is gone until tomorrow. He is by far the picky eater in the family.

**March** Fitness Stuff

Saturday: I ran, I ate healthy, I cut back my caffeine (coffee), cut out the soda, increased water consumption. Now... what do I make for dinner? My legs are tired, so I'm sitting here sipping an evening coffee and trying to find a simple healthy recipe to make for dinner for me and my little girls.

Tuesday: So I ran again yesterday I'm getting better. Still watching my diet closely and contemplating a visit to my doctor for a routine check up see how healthy I am...

This was saved as a draft....?

Sensitivities Detected

As long as I stay away from gluten I feel fine. Great in fact. This seriously makes me wonder what my kids are in store for if they take after me.

At least I know to be aware of these things. I know to watch and pay attention.

I ate a hot dog (eww I know but it had melty cheese and it was so tempting) on a bun. And about 3 hours later my hips and knees are aching.
A few days ago I had two chili cheese dogs. I limped around for hours maybe even the entire day. I ACHE soooo bad when I eat this stuff. Since starting my diet and then testing it by eating bread products and such that contain gluten I am so much more in tune with my body and how it reacts.


It really is not that hard to eat gluten free. Think of it this way, eat meat... no breading or fillers(hot dogs probably are NOT a good idea). Even commercial spaghetti sauce contains wheat... I just found this out tonight at my friend Jessy's house.
Ok, so eat meat, eat dairy (Note: many people with gluten sensitivity or celiac disease have a lactose intolerance as well), eat fruits, vegetables, eat brown rice(it is so good for you), don't forget beans! Potatoes are awesome as well. Some stores sell rice flour so you can make your own flour products like, cakes, breads, biscuits. I have yet to try this but the flour is waiting for me when I am ready! I used it to make a rue for a cream sauce for my gluten free pasta.

I think that perhaps after we get moved and settled I will really kick my butt into gear on an entirely new blog dedicated to diet stuff.

Until next time...

Can I be more?

Lets just get a few things straight. I am satisfied! My life is good! I don't hate myself!

However, the issue is that I want to be different.
I want to be more motivated, less planned, spontaneous, friendly, someone people want to be around. I don't think I am any of those things and I am probably not going to get here by killing people in my head when I go out in public.
I also swear at people who don't know how to drive... but they don't hear me. The other day I had to come to a complete stop for a stupid squirrel (our road doesn't have too much traffic don't worry I'm not an idiot!) because it wasn't moving aside. On my way back home the damn thing was squished on the road about 15 feet from where I had to stop for it. For that I called the squirrel a "dumb fucker". Who does that? Probably someone who cares enough about a squirrel to stop in the middle of the street to wait for it to move but who won't hesitate to race a pedestrian to an intersection! I think I have issues.. it's no wonder I don't have anyone to invite to do stuff with(Ok that's an exaggeration, don't get yourself all butt hurt. I love you!!!). 

Seriously thought I'm not the kind of person you want to be friends with. I'm a good person and I feel morally sound most of the time.... killing people in my head because they look at me in a "tone" I don't approve of probably isn't very morally sound. I don't steal or lie or cheat (at anything). I can be brutally honest and people can often take that as pessimism. But I'm not seeing the glass of water half full or half empty. I really do just see half a glass of water and I call if for what it is.
Maybe it should be a half full kind of thing? Maybe I need to work on that. But to work on these things is to try to change who I am and if I change who I am... what will I become?
Who will I be and will I end up having a nervous breakdown? Do you think you can change yourself if you really want to or is your personality predestined based off of what it has been thus far...

This is too complex. Simply put:
I want to be more! 

Boycotting Gluten - Day 2

So I have been avoiding gluten.

I don't feel sick, I have been having headaches like crazy ( read this can be a body detox from cutting out the bad and bringing in the good ) but everything else is getting better.
This feeling better could also have something to do with the fact that I have been eating a lot more fresh fruits and vegetables. But hey I'm feeling good and this is good news! I do miss certain things, but I know that if I am having sensitivities to gluten it is something I need to embrace head on. Not something to toy with. Gluten sensitivity is often related to celiac disease and if this is the case then it is best to eliminate the problem not "live with" the symptoms. Yeah?
Here is some more information:  http://www.glutenfreeclub.com/Article.aspx?nid=1554&utm_nooverride=1 
http://www.myhealthyoc.com/2012/03/celiac-disease-signs-symptoms-gluten-free/

It might not be the best information but it is a start if you need some explanation.

I will update on this evil little gluten thing again!