Saturday, May 5, 2012

Misery is Today

As I sit and my eyes fill with tears the only words that come to mind are, "I ... can't ... do this..."

What can't I do? All of it... I am exhausted I am sick I am tired of repeating myself and not being listened to. I am fed up with walking into a room I just cleaned to find in fucking destroyed again... I am done with finding mother f-ing stuffed animal stuffing all through the house.

I am trying so hard to keep up with laundry and dishes and shopping and meals... packing and keeping everything clean in the mean time.
I set myself up for failure. No single person can do everything while caring for three children and not ask for a little bit of help. I am in crisis mode... I am HUNGRY and I am weak and where is help when I need it? Now I am having headaches that I can't get rid of and I really just want to go to bed. I have been willing and ready to go to bed for the night since 5
I am not cut out for life today. Maybe tomorrow... but today... I would like to just evaporate with my tears into a place that can take care of me for a little while.

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