My general style is simple. Gimme a nice pair of running shoes or flip flops and I am a happy-happy girl. Hair tie into a pony tail... even better, now add a basic pair of jeans a solid t-shirt and a little eye liner... that's me. That's just WHO I AM. Ya know, if I were to define myself by clothing.
I don't get all caught up in "waist belts", scarves, jewelry, layering clothing, matching earrings, sunglasses, belts, fancy shoes, suntans or fake nails. You're looking at the girl who owns ONE purse that she has carried around for 2 years.
I see all these women wearing stylish clothing, things that coordinate and they look nice. I can't help but feel jealous but at the same time, that is not who I am. I am not a perfectly coordinated outfit. I am a blue jeans and cotton T kinda gal, who hates pissing around with her hair and make up. I rarely paint my nails.
I cannot help but wonder if I am abnormal. If there is something wrong with me. But I see those things and all I can think about is the cost it would take for me to look "like that".
And who would I be wearing these clothes for? Other people! That's who!
As long as I am clean and not titty-flopping around my boyfriend is probably content with how I look. I do dress it up a little when we go out. But... I prefer to just be me. Then when I am looking at someone who is not me, or I am around people who wear nice clothing when they're just lounging around at home, I feel wrong.
It makes me insecure. Should I have more "style" or should I just accept myself for who I am?
Acceptance is the most logical choice I think. Though I would really like to get myself back into those leggings I "outgrew" last winter. I love leggings and leg warmers and BOOTS. I need to learn to walk in fancy heels. I guess that could be a fashion goal as long as I can keep the leg warmers!
Well, to finish this up... here is how I look today. Eyeliner = only make up. Hair spray to cut out some of the frizz and hold curls(my hair is permed because, I hate doing my hair). T-shirt, jeans, running shoes.
I am feeling exceptionally good about how I look in that second picture. I am feeling "better" about myself( I have been moving my muscles around consistently lately= exercise). Even though I despise the amount of space between my shoulders and my itty bitties most days, I find that the right bra, with the right t-shirt is essential. Freaking ridiculous!
So basically, it's not that I DON'T care about how I look. It's just that, I don't care what anyone else thinks, I like to be comfortable and I just gotta accept that I am a comfort loving stay at home mom who doesn't want to buy nice clothes so that kids can wipe boogers on them.
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